Parenting by Strengths

New Threat to Kids on Your Home Computer

by Mary Ivory

I feel a bit out of character always ring the alarm bell here on the parenting blog about the use of the Internet but I will do it! This is about the newest social networking site. Chat Roulette is a popular new chat website that puts users face-to-face with complete strangers via webcams.  It was designed by a teen in Europe, and it has become wildly popular. I learned about it on this CBS Early Show report.

Knowledge is power. You have heard me say that before. This one a piece of knowledge you can get the step up on. Learn about Chat Roulette and block it from your home computer. Watch the video with your teens, and talk with them about your concerns that they will meet dangerous people there and that is why you don't want them to be involved. Again, this is a teachable moment, to let your kids know they can ask you about anything, anytime because you will be fair and honest with them. You may get some eye rolling or 'I don't want to talk about that'. Assure them you understand that it is uncomfortable, but you are there for them. Always. You will be glad you did.

And the kids are glad too. Even if they don't act like it.

Alcohol Use--- How to Talk About It

 by Mary Ivory

Doing the right thing is what most want to do for kids. I write here to bring clarity to confusing topics. Computers and social relationships that evolve from them is new ground for all to consider in parenting, but today I am writing about a topic as old as most of human history- alcohol use. It is a confusing topic because it stirs emotions in very powerful ways. And powerfully stirred emotions are not often associated with the best of behavior or shining moments. Because the consequences of drinking at a young age are so powerful, I want to address them here so you can use your strengths and be confident when talking to your kids.

I think one reason it is difficult to talk with kids about alcohol use, abuse or binge drinking is that most people in American culture have over used it at one time or another. So when confronted with the all important task of educating our children about the powerful effects and consequences of this socially accepted, and yes I will say socially encouraged, use of alcohol one might find themselves feeling uneasy because we are telling kids to do something we have done or over done.... But just because it makes us uncomfortable does not get us to avoid the topic. It is best we educate ourselves on the topic and then move forward..... This is a site I suggest you view first and then share with your kids. LOTS of information in a clear and straight forward manner about the physical effect of alcohol. It will answer a lot of questions and help you feel confident in further discussion.

If you are ready to have a really interesting conversation with your teenage I strongly encourage you to watch this CBS news video piece on one Mother's response to loosing her daughter to binge drinking. It is a tough one to watch, but I am sure you will have a great conversation if you watch it with someone you love. This Mom has taken on a social advocate role using the legal system to address the issue of helping kids coping with the peer pressure and the need to take action if someone is drinking heavily. I would love to here what you think! Please comment!

Whew. We can change this world. Let's keep talking and making things easier for our kids to have fun and be responsible.

 

 

 

 

Mom Battles Binge Drinking - CBS News Video

 

description of girls life.... and death

What to Tell Kids About Haiti

by Amy Johnson, MSW

Usually on this blog, I write about sexuality issues, but since it's my turn this week, I wanted to give you some tips on what to tell your children about the disaster in Haiti.

Information Overload or Excitement ?

by Mary Ivory

Information is coming at us from everywhere; I'm calling it information acceleration. To be your best coach,  I want to know the latest technology and brain research We can design a 'tech plan' for you and your kids.

Today we can read about almost anything imaginable without leaving the spot you are at right now.....your computer, your telephone with internet connection or pda. David Rock brings together some great ideas on the brain about how we process multiple levels of information in this

Hufffington Post. I found it very interesting and think you might too.

Today I have a couple of questions for you. Write back your answers and we can 'talk' on the blog about what works. Creating a tech plan for the information acceleration will make our lives better each day.

Bully Free, Conflict Free, Tech Home Rules

Or --Texting and you and your teen or tween, part 2.

by Mary Ivory

And the holiday is so upon us! The shopping is done, yeah! ... But now what to do about the new technology in your home? I am suggesting we call it a tech plan.

I outlined some background ideas in my last post. I hope you are ready for some fun work... No kidding it's fun work! ... Here are my ideas for first steps to pro-actively make your home safer, happier and tech plan friendly!

Technology is another factor in our kids step toward independence. Tweens and teens have pressures to text, email and exchange pictures or sexting. Along with the anticipation of big fun with the new phone or lap top we need a plan of safety. We will start with some of the dangers-

• Bullying. Check our this short public service ad if you want to get a better understanding of the problem. 
• Nearly "constant need"  for texting/ chatting.
• Homework distractions.
• Important to remember- Texts and emails are not private. Once something is in an email or in text message it remains accessible. Think about the long lasting effect of your words as they do not disappear! Ask all the recent celebrities involved in scandalous behaviors.

Texting, Dating and You and Your Teen (or tween)!

Remember the small thrill from passing a note in class? I do. Junior High fun...I was a 'good kid' but the excitement of passing a note, hoping not to be found out by the teacher is a feeling I can well up without much pondering.... It was a way to be secretive and be connected with friends while 'breaking a rule' that was, at it's most a dangerous act, a disruption to the teacher's lesson plan. It is normal development for tweens (9-12 year old) and particularly teens to test rules. I can remember what that first step to challenge the rules was like.....

Enough of my reminiscing, you might wonder where I am going with this idea under the topic of teen texting and dating?

Are You Overindulging Your Child?

Tune in to “Real Parents. Real Solutions” on Wed., Nov. 4 to see of you’re overindulging your child. Dr. Jean Illsley Clarke, author of "How Much is Enough? Everything You Need to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Children" will share three ways that parents commonly overindulge their children and remedies for making the necessary changes. “Real mom” Jeannie Burlowski will also share strategies she’s using to raise responsible children.

The show airs live Wed. at 10 AM PT/11 AM MT/ 12 PM CT/1 PM ET or you can catch the replay at your convenience here: http://www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions. 

Hope you can join us!

Online Parenting Advice: GreatTips or Bum Advice?

By Toni Schutta

Do you ever get parenting advice online? Has it been helpful advice or bum advice? Have you found “community” online or made new friendships? Call in to “Real Parents. Real Solutions.” Wed., Oct. 21 at 10 AM PT/11 AM MT/12 PM CT/1 PM ET at 1-866-472-5788.and voice your opinion. I’ll be talking with managers of three of the biggest parenting forums online, Café Mom, Moms Like Me and Sybermoms and they have some great stories to share along with advice parents are giving for the hottest parenting topics online.

You can listen live at 10 AM PT/11 AM MT/12 PM CT/1 PM ET or you can listen at your convenience later by clicking here: http://www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions. 

Let's Talk!

by Amy Johnson, MSW

Parents, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has designated October as "Let's Talk" Month.  So, let's talk about sex and more.  Here are tips to get started or take the next step in talking to your children and teens about sexuality.

Parenting Solutions to Sleep Issues

If you have any sleep issues with your child, you’ll want to tune in to “Real Parents. Real Solutions” on Wed., Oct. 7 from 12-1 CT (1-2 ET, 11-12 MT, 10-11 PT) when I interview the author of “Sleepless is America: Is My Child Misbehaving or Missing Sleep?” Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, who also wrote “Raising Your Spirited Child” will be my guest and she’ll provide lots of practical tips for better sleep that will improve your child’s mood and reduce power struggles and tantrums.

Listen live or later at http://tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions.