I work in a school for children in the third to fifth grades. As one of the school psychologists I spend a lot of my time evaluating those children and developing behavior plans for them. However, it is my position that very little in life and in school are without any good to them. Yes, the children we develop behavior plans for are difficult to teach and to manage in the classroom. Yes, they would learn more if they could focus better. Still I sometimes think about what we would all miss if these children were not among us.
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by Chuck Adam
Many parents feel that one of their biggest problems is arguing with, and yelling at, a headstrong, vocal child. I like to recommend a very direct approach that empowers these parents to end arguments and yelling before they begin.
First, I encourage them to recognize that it takes two to have an argument. It’s a very empowering thought to realize that “My arguments with my child are MY fault.” This is not blaming or “guilting” the parents. Its pointing out that they can completely eliminate all arguments by changing their own behavior as opposed to trying to get their child to change theirs.
Second, since they are almost always willing to buy into this line of thinking, I encourage these parents to experiment with a two-part technique: 1) I-messages that communicate “I am not going to argue
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