Or --Texting and you and your teen or tween, part 2.
And the holiday is so upon us! The shopping is done, yeah! ... But now what to do about the new technology in your home? I am suggesting we call it a tech plan.
I outlined some background ideas in my last post. I hope you are ready for some fun work... No kidding it's fun work! ... Here are my ideas for first steps to pro-actively make your home safer, happier and tech plan friendly!
Technology is another factor in our kids step toward independence. Tweens and teens have pressures to text, email and exchange pictures or sexting. Along with the anticipation of big fun with the new phone or lap top we need a plan of safety. We will start with some of the dangers-
- Bullying. Check our this short public service ad if you want to get a better understanding of the problem.
- Nearly "constant need" for texting/ chatting.
- Homework distractions.
- Important to remember- Texts and emails are not private. Once something is in an email or in text message it remains accessible. Think about the long lasting effect of your words as they do not disappear! Ask all the recent celebrities involved in scandalous behaviors.
Think about your child's current relationship to technology. How much time is spent on the internet or cell phone? (The internet has adult only information and needs limits.) Are they on the internet when they are using their cell phone. How do you monitor all that activity? Do they have questions that you can't answer? Let's make sure you are becoming 'the answer source'
You might not be able to figure out the mailbox set up of your cell phone, but I'm guessing you're comfortable with sharing your values about what you expect from you child in their relation to other people. How we treat ourselves and others is basis of the a good family tech plan. We have teachable moments with technology power so we want to get extraordinarily clear on what is important about respectful relationships. Remember- Keep it simple. Trust it. You can learn what you need to know to keep up with your kids.
Start with simple words you want to use in conversation with your kids about relationships. Trust. Sincerity. Honesty. Being respectful. Being respected. Knowing that saying no is okay if an adult asks you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Letting your kids know they can tell you anything, ask you anything without you getting mad.
Maybe you want to write these things down. Maybe you want to talk with your partner about them. Or maybe you want to bring this up as a discussion at the next PTA gathering. Choose an action you can take to build your confidence. Don't sweat it, just do it.
Our basics are being challenged by the fast paced movement of electronic communication. I know you know this, because you are reading a blog about parenting. You are more than half way there. So clarify your relationship standards and then talk to your kids about how much time is 'allowable' in your home for tech communication and then give it a try of, say 2 weeks, and meet again to see how it is going. If it is not going well, reach out to someone who can give you support to make it right. Think about who can help you with their experience. This issue is NOT going to go away on it's own. Start today and you will feel the relief tomorrow...
Let me know what you think here. Tell the readers of this blog what has worked out in your family and how you got there. Learning from each other is key to keeping up!
