I recently read a blog post on RH Reality Check, a site that publishes information about reproductive health. The title of it was "Start Sex Ed Early, Or It's Just a History Lesson," and it deals with recent research showing that children as young as 8-years-old are having sex.
The statistic quoted was from a study of low-income families in three major cities in the United States, and pinpointed the average age of first sex being 12.77 for those approximately 17-26% of youth who had first sex prior to the age of 16. With the average age being that young, then, indeed, there are some children as young as eight, nine, or ten having sex.
What are the implications of this? I agree with the author, who discusses the necessity of lifespan comprehensive sexuality education. I think we can all agree that eight year olds should not be having sex. Given that, we need to consider that if we are wait until high school, or even middle school to give information about sexuality to our youth, we've missed some children in need. This doesn't mean we need to teach about STDs and contraceptive use in kindergarten. There are other lessons appropriate to that age. SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Eductaion Council for the United States) has developed guidelines for early childhood educators called Right from the Start. To quote the article's author:
"Messages for young students in the Guidelines include: "Everybody has to make decisions," "Everyone, including children, have rights," "Family members and friends usually try to help each other," "Each body part has a correct name and a specific function," "Bodies change as children grow older," and "Children are not physically or emotionally ready for sexual intercourse or other sexual behaviors."
These messages, which are designed to help young children understand their bodies, relationships, and sex, lay the groundwork for healthy decision making as kids get older."
And I can't say enough about laying the groundwork for healthy decision making, and for open communication about sexuality. After all, your children are going to learn about sexuality. Don't you want them to learn about it primarily from you?
If this is a touchy subject for you, like it is for most parents I meet, know there are many resources to help you out. Get educated yourself, and help your children with this important topic--before it's a history lesson.
Here are some to get you started:
- Parenting by Strengths: A Parents' Guide for Challenging Situations (Chapter 4 is all about talking to your child about sexuality).
- More resources for different ages and topics from body parts, to puberty, to sexual orientation: click here
- Bimonthly articles for parents and others who care about children online in the column "Sex in the Suburbs"
Amy Johnson, MSW, is a Personal Life and Parent Coach who is passionate about working with parents regarding balance, self-care and faith and sexuality. She is co-author of the book, Parenting by Strengths: A Parent's Guide to Challenging Situations. To read more by Amy, go to Diligent Joy Blog. Amy is also a member of the Best Parent Coaching Directory. Click here to contact Amy.
