Concerned people want to talk about drugs with their children to keep them out of harms' way. That seems simple. Seems obvious. And as I contemplated writing this post, gathering my thoughts, I "googled" the phase 'talking to your kids about drugs'. As as quick as Google goes, I received back a page with the first 10 listing of the 25 million possible hits! Yes, people want to talk to kids, the questions are how do I do it well, what can I say to protect them. Short of having some magic wand to shield them from the world, here is what I suggest you do.
FIrst gather your thoughts, do yourhomework. We each have a personal story about what alcohol, tobacco and other drugs means to us. That personal story of use or witnessing the effects of use and abuse is ever so important. Sometimes people get stuck in hurtful feelings (anger, disgust, shame, sadness to name a few) when they consider this topic, and that is okay if you decide now you are not going to stay stuck with unhelpful feelings. If you have a partner in parenting, talk about this together. If you cannot step away from a place where you can make positive action plans, step out and get some support. Be it reading, friend or a coach (yes, that is me pitching what I believe in!) use the support to begin a plan of action to talk and protect children from the harm that drug use can play into. The children in your life may or may not be interested in your personal story but they are interested in you showing them the way to cope with such pressures. That makes you responsible to come to terms (that is the homework) with your story so you can create the building of their way to cope. This post is just meant to point you in some good directions for your action steps.
Lots of deep breathes involved here. Be patient with yourself. Let some time pass and review. Ask yourself- Am I able to calmly and with authority talk about making GOOD self care decisions regarding drugs use with kids? It is complicated but it doesn't have to be a dissertation research paper.There are many informational resources. I will list my current favorites at the bottom of this post. Send me your favorites and we can share resources.....
However, this is very important, also consider the age or 'developmental level' of the child you are talking with about life changing matters. In our book Parenting by Strengths: A Guide for Parents in Challenging Situations, the topics are written to address the needs of the age of the child. This consideration is important to decrease the challenge, not to complicate the matter! I have to highly recommend this read!
But back to drug information--- it is important you get the latest word. Things have changed since we were kids--- drugs are more potent, tobacco probably more addictive. You want to let your child know you cared enough to get the latest.... The web site theAntiDrug.com is great. A new book out this month is How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid: The Straight Dope by Joseph A. Califano. I have yet to review it but the table of contents looks good. Check back soon for my review.
Let me know what you think here!
