Despite
the many rewards of parenting, the process can take a toll on a
marriage. Sprinkle on the demands of employment, maintaining a home,
spending time with friends and extended family, volunteering, etc.,
and you may find yourself consistently putting your mate at the
bottom of your list. A good relationship can take this kind of
neglect on a temporary basis, but it is easy to become complacent.
After all, if your spouse can't take it, who can? Often we take our partner for granted for exactly that reason: he/she is always there,
he/she took vows to stick around in good times and bad. But do you
want your relationship thrive
or just eek by? Setting aside quality together time can be
challenging and requires careful planning. It also requires that you
honor that time and fiercely defend it. Put it on the calendar. Good
relationships need regular cleanings and cavity checks!
Here
are some ideas to get you started:
--After the kids go to bed,
turn off the t.v., unplug the phone and sit next to each other on the
couch for at least 15 minutes. Commit to being really present, and
using the listening skills discussed in an earlier post.
--Make
dinner together once a week.
--Hire a babysitter and go on a hike
together (you can take the dog but no other humans)
--Try to go to
bed at the same time and tell each other one thing you were grateful
for that day.
Relationship maintenance is a vital parenting skill!
