The Positive Psychology of the new millennium knows what excellent grandparents have always known, that is, we should go with our strengths. But since we did not get to pick our parents and our parents did not get to pick their parents, ad infinitum, there can be a shortage of excellent advice giving grandparents out there. But fortunately for us there is now a science of strength finding that can leap us over the fact of missing excellent grandparents. Today I want to talk to you as a coach who has seen many leaps with powerful yet simple exercises. I want you to know more about your strengths!
I am not talking about your good looks, your fashion sense or your muscle mass. Those are all wonderful, but I want you to look at the science naming your strengths, realizing your strengths and encourage you to use them more frequently. I am referring you to the work of Martin Sieglman and Chris Peterson, Ben Dean and Alex Linely. Many of you reading this are looking for help with your parenting.The best way to be better at parenting is to take an account of what ways you are your best in the world. Let's begin there. When we use our strengths more purposefully as a parent, the greatness occurs. A strength assessment is the place to begin. Fortunately it doesn't take long to begin. And we can benefit from a grant and the U of Pennsylvania, this one is free.
The place to begin is the Authentic Happiness web site. Here the work of Dr. Martin Seligam on the topic of Positive Psychology is documented and available for our use. I suggest you register on the site and then take the featured work the 'VIA Signature Strength Survey.' It is a 240 question survey that has been taken by hundreds of thousands of people. Don't be intimidated by the number of items on the test, it takes about 30 minutes to complete, you are responding with a click is something is like you or not like you. This Survey measures 24 Character Strengths that have internationally researched. When you are done a results page will tell you your top five strengths. Print that out. Now the fun begins.
Alex Linley is the Founder and Director of the Centre of Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP) and a Visiting Professor in Psychology at the University of Leicester. He is a teacher I learned much from in my coach training through MentorCoach in 2006. He tells us that "realizing strengths, in my view, is the smallest thing that you can do to make the biggest difference. As such, I would recommend that people understand their strengths and look to use them optimally across every area of their lives." So you have begun! You have the print out of your strengths, think about how you have used them in the past. Now think about how you might use them today. Of course on this reflection is heighten by discussion.... As I coach I have helped individuals and families using this exercise to further their life goals. Parenting requires our best engagement skills... The challenge is on. Of course I would love to talk to you about coaching. Let me know what you think.
